So I’ve posted about my living situation a bit here and there on this blog. For the full messy details see my first post here (https://preachygrub.wordpress.com/2016/07/20/the-five-reasons-im-still-a-christian). It may not contain a detailed blow by blow, but it will give you some context as to some of my family’s struggles.
Recently my mother-in-law had some worsening health problems and was in the hospital for a few days, followed by a two week stay in an inpatient rehabilitation center to build her strength back up. At the risk of sounding like a terrible person, I have to say it was a nice break for my wife and I, who are caregivers for her. Don’t get me wrong, we were not happy that she was sick, but the break was a welcome one. A silver lining, so to speak.
As we prepared for her to return home, my wife and I were discussing some of the things that would change around our house. Some of them were small things, the simple loss of space from having another person in our small home. Others were a bit larger, like the drain on our free time, or the emotional toll of having to care for another person.
One of the issues we ended up discussing was how we would handle our faith when she returned. As I have mentioned previously, my wife and I are Christian. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, is not. I think technically she may still consider herself Catholic. In practice though she is a little closer to either atheist or agnostic.
Regardless of what she calls herself, we have very different worldview, and at times it makes living together difficult. It shows up in our choice of wall decorations: A nice quote about prayer? Or a picture of a woman breaking a broom with the words F*** Housework across the top? It becomes an issue when we consider praying before a meal, or teaching our son to pray while in front of her. It is not to say that she has ever told us not to express our faith (although there have been subtle hints that worship music is not appreciated, and invitations to join us for church are all but laughed at), but we struggle with the line between respecting her choices by not shoving our faith down her throat, and being able to practice our faith in our own home.
I don’t think I am alone in this struggle. With so many ethnicities, religions, and world views present in the United States today, it is almost impossible not to run into someone whose views are different from your own on a daily basis. As you do, the question that often arises is where is the line between respecting their beliefs and expressing your own.
So where is the balance? Where should one draw the line in terms of not shoving your faith down someone else throat, but also still being free to live and practice your beliefs? I’m not great at this, I will admit it here and now, but the following are some thoughts from my experience.
- Respect, don’t hide.
There is a fine line between respecting someone else’s right to not share your beliefs, and hiding them completely so as to never offend anyone. The key is respect. If someone doesn’t agree with your beliefs, avoid making them participate in them. This would involve things like mandatory prayers or music or decorations that they are forced to listen to or look at. Simply praying around them, reading your Bible, or practicing your faith in other manners that they can see, but don’t have to participate in, is a different matter. In that case you are merely giving yourself the same freedoms and respect that you are extending to others. If they get offended still, it may just be their issue, not yours.
- Start dialogue.
After the riots happened in Ferguson, Missouri, my work developed several trainings on Diversity and Inclusion. Aside from being horribly painful, they did give a few good pointers on dealing with different viewpoints. One of the best tips was to start dialogue. By talking about our differences we not only acknowledge that they exist, but we acknowledge that they are okay. Often people feel respected if you seek to understand what they believe. They may even ask questions about your own beliefs. As a result you both may feel more comfortable practicing faith. And, if the other party is not interested in talking, at least you tried.
- The Least Common Denominator
In Romans 14:1 Paul tells believes to respect the faith of their weaker brothers. This command was given specifically to help issues where Christians had different opinions on what was right or wrong. He was telling those who were okay with things like eating meat or not observing certain holidays, to respect the faith of those who had more strict views, at least while they were around one another. While he wasn’t specifically talking about issues between different faiths, I think the point applies. Sometimes, especially when you are around people whose faith is more strict than your own, it is helpful to yield to their stricter views. This could mean differing to a man during a conversation if a couple is from a culture where that is more appropriate (possibly making both the husband and wife more comfortable). Or it could be as simple as avoiding swearing around those who are offended by that type of language. It is a fine line, and you have to be careful not to let it turn into hiding, but sometimes it is necessary.
Like I said before, I am not a pro at this topic, but I am hoping to get better. Ultimately, Jesus said that we were like a light used to see in the darkness, and it makes no sense to simply hide that light so no one can see it. While I struggle with not wanting to offend others by practicing my own beliefs, in the future I think I will be striving to respect those around me, and not worrying about giving offense.
The Preachy Grub 