To My Non-Christian Friends

You ever have one of those days where no matter what you do right, you do something wrong?

I’ve had one of those weeks.

I am a Clinical Research Coordinator. More or less that means I am in charge of running a physician’s clinical trials. I work with cancer patients that have gastro-intestinal cancer -anything from the throat to the anus, with a few stops along the way, is my area. My day to day can range from seeing patients alongside an Oncologist, to running blood tubes to various labs, to completing hours and hours of paperwork on everything that occurred during a patient’s visit.

Technically the physician is in charge of and responsible for everything that goes on as part of their trial -as the pharmaceutical companies like to say, “pretty much, if anything goes wrong, it’s your fault”. But, if you’ve ever been someone’s assistant you know the real truth. In public, they take the fall for the mistake, but the hammer always comes back to the assistant.

This is a job where people take patients whose bodies are actively betraying them and trying to set that to a strict schedule. Needless to say things go wrong. To make matters worse, in a job that is so focused on everything going according to plan, every move is documented, stored, and gone through at least a dozen times. We have actual lists of the mistakes we make that go on permanent record for years. That means I am accountable for mistakes I made years ago, and they can be dug up and interrogated at any time. It doesn’t matter if I have learned from them, grown through them -the North remembers (a bit of Game of Thrones humor for you).

Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, it is interesting, exciting, challenging, and honestly helps improves the lives of people around me. But it brings out the perfectionist in me. Not the I can do everything right perfectionist, but the no mistake for any reason is acceptable perfectionist.

See truthfully I don’t need too much help to find my faults. I have a list in the back of my mind, right next to the voices. Sure I have moments where I know full well my strengths, or moments where I get cocky. But I’m always very aware of the fact that I’m not perfect. At times it is a weight that drags me down. Sometimes it is something I try to overcome. Other times it is something I try desperately to hide. But rarely is it something I am able to just accept.

Anyone else out there with me? Anyone out there know they aren’t perfect, know they make mistakes, fall short of their own standards, and do their best to sweep the worst of it under the rug? There is a thousand ways I could explain it; and another couple hundred ways that we all deal with it, but if you have ever felt that way, hopefully you understand what I’m getting at.

I was having one of the crappier days of my week yesterday; it was a day where I was both handling a tough situation that was not at all my fault -really winning in terms of my coordinatorness, but I was also stuck staring at the dozens of ways that I could have prevented the sitaution -if I had bit a bit more on top of things, if I had seen everything that could have happened, if I had been perfect. In the middle of some seething anger, muttered curses, and mild panic, it hit me.

It would be really amazing to have someone fully see my situation, the things I’ve done right, the ways I could have been better, the mistakes I actually made – actually see all of those, and say it was okay. Not make excuses for them, like I so often do, but FORGIVE them. The most amazing feeling I can possibly think of, to be fully known, have someone admit that they see your faults, and not hold them against you.

As a Christian there are so many times when I get wrapped up in the fact that I should do a morning devotion instead of sleep longer or watch TV. Or I should pray more, or volunteer. There are times when I worry about which side of the political monster I fall on and if I’ve really given the other side enough consideration. There are times I worry about the mistakes I make, and how I need to do better. But at the heart of it all of that is missing the point.

If you took the time to read this far I thank you; I promise I’m about to make my point.

I have 3 words tattooed on my body. Down my ribs in an anagram -meaning it reads as one word going up, and a different word going down – of the words Sinner and Saint. The third word is on a banner hanging over a cross on my arm. The banner says Forgiven.

You don’t have to be clean or good enough to be a Christian

Behind all the political rants; the republican, democrat, abortion, immigration noise – behind all of that, these three words really sum up what it means to be a Christian. So, if you are not a Christ follower, a Jesus freak, or a church goer, I want someone at least to tell you this much. You don’t have to be clean or good enough to be a Christian – in fact, we took a vote a long time ago and those people didn’t make the cut. The truth is that you don’t make the cut. If you don’t lie to yourself you know that; God know that, but he forgives you for it – or he will if you ask for it. The other thing you need to know is that all of us Christians, we are works in progress. We’ve opened ourselves up to letting God work on us, but we are stuck in the middle. We are both Sinners and Saints. We know the good we should do, but we don’t always do it. So please don’t ignore our mistakes, but forgive them. We aren’t perfect, and that is a good thing. And if you are a Jesus follower, chances are that every now and then you forget this little fact. Take a moment to remember it. Let your guard down, admit you aren’t perfect, and know you are loved by someone who sees you more clearly than you see yourself.

If you find yourself sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. If you find yourself all too aware of your imperfections, I would invite you to consider God. Not because you are good enough to make the cut, but because he loves you anyway, and because it is truly awesome to know you are loved while also being truly seen for who you are. There is nothing better.

The Christianese Bulls-*hem* Jargon

Jargon: special words or expressions that are used by a particular profession or group and are difficult for others to understand.

I work with Oncologists- cancer doctors; people who are wickedly smart and have such specialized knowledge that sometimes I start a conversation drowning. In addition to knowing ten times more about the human body than I ever will, I also struggle at times to simply follow what they are even saying. Doctors are notorious for jargon, abbreviations, and acronyms. My god the sheer acronyms that I have to deal with.

CBC, CMP,  HCC, AE, SAE, DLT, HRPO, PCP, HIPAA, PO – just to name a few off the top of my head.

That doesn’t even begin to cover the actual jargon; words like edema, dysphagia, dyspnea, emesis, peripheral, palliative.

There is good reason for it. The use of jargon and acronyms saves time and often allows physicians to be incredibly specific about symptoms, treatments, and body parts. It allows them to quickly and effectively communicate with other people who speak the same language. It lets them do their job.

But then they talk to patients.

Some physicians are great at translating their jargon into normal talk. Others… let’s say that just watching is a bit painful. Sometimes they take all of that knowledge, all of those specific terms and helpful words, and it is delivered like blunt force trauma from a roughly cylindrical object, causing contusions and lacerations to the posterior of the subject’s skull (it hits the patient over the back of the head like a baseball bat).

So why am I telling you this? Why should you care, other than to laugh or cringe based on your own experiences? Well, because religious people are just as guilty of this 90% of the time. Except, while doctors are able to use their specific language to talk quickly and specifically about a situation, religious jargon often clouds the situation with familiar feel good fluff.

Ever sat in a church and heard someone talk about handing a situation over to God? Ever heard a Christian mention a tough time and say they were “relying on His strength”? How about walking with the Lord? Waiting on the God’s time? Hearing God speak or feeling the Spirit move?

Am I the only one who has ever heard that and asked what the hell does that even mean?

Sometimes the jargon isn’t an effective way of communicating. Sometimes it is just the automatic Christianese reply. The feel good fluff that sounds nice but means little.

Don’t get me wrong. I grew up in the church. For the most part I can translate these words and phrases from Christianese into actual English. But, most of the times jargon isn’t an effective way of communicating. Not for us normal folk. Sometimes it is just the automatic feel good reply. The fluff that sounds nice but means little.

My wife and I went through a crisis a few years back. Read my earlier posts or private message me if you want to know more about that. While we were going through it several people gave us the advice to rely on His (God’s) strength. And I tried. I really did. But when I was stressed, and tired, and frustrated, I often came back to the fact that this wasn’t something I could physically do.

Maybe you’ve been there? Maybe you’ve tried to “turn to God” but all of the spiritual fluff is clogging the way so you can’t actually understand what God even wants you to do.

Ever been there? Is that you now? Well, here is my interpretation of some of the more fluffy things that we Christians say. Just a disclaimer, I don’t have it all figured out, so some of this is just my best explanation. Also, if you have it all figured out, comment below and help the rest of us, or feel free to add something if I left it out.

 

• Handing Something Over to God- Relying on God- Or letting go and letting God.

There are a lot of different ways to express this one. I have probably used all of the above and more. But while the words can vary, the general sentiment is the same. And, while this is one of the most common phrases, it is also the worst in terms of actual application or understanding.

What we mean: What we typically mean when we say some version of the above, is that we aren’t able to do or handle something on our own because we are human. We can say this when trying to be a patient and kind human being during St. Louis rush hour (that alone should come with a sainthood), or when we are trying to keep it together in the face of tragedy. Basically this one gets used any time that we know the standard is higher than what we, as a broken human being, can manage.

What this actually looks like: So disclaimer, I’m not great at this, but this is what it boils down to. In some way, shape, or form, we let go. It can be a prayer where we simply say, “God, I can’t do this alone, please give me strength.” Or it can be an actual act where we stop trying to control the millions of pieces and simply allow ourselves to be human and imperfect. That’s about as concrete as I can get. And it is hard to fully explain because it relies on the actuality that there is someone on the other side of my prayers. Right? If I’m just sending out positive vibes this is a very newagey feel goody type of fluff. But, if God exists and is listening, that what I am doing is asking for, and relying on, His help- which is a very real and often the only fix to my problems.That may not have cleared much up, so just think of what you would do if you were in a bind and were relying on another person. You would stop trying to control everything, fix everything, and anxiously ponder every horrible outcome. You would step back and let them do their job. This is doing that, but with God.

• Feeling the Spirit Move- Hearing God Speak

If there is an area where Christians sound like they need to be committed, where we sound particularly like a cult, this is it. I’ve been binge watching “House” recently, and in an episode Hugh Laurie’s character stated “…you talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you — you’re psychotic.” But Christians claim to “Feel the Spirit Move”, “Hear God speak” or somehow communicate with him all the time. So are we crazy? If not what are we saying?

What we mean: When a Christian states that they felt God talking to them, or heard God, it is incredible rare for them to mean they actually heard an audible voice. Instead, this is usually a way for them to state that they are convinced that God is communicating with them in a variety of ways. I try to avoid this type of phrasing as much as possible, instead talking about how I see God moving, or stating that I am convinced he is saying this, that, or the other. This area of communication is often very subjective and it is incredible easy for hopes, dreams, or emotions to shadow what God is actually saying, either by being mistaken for God’s will, or by combating the actual message he is sending. From my own experience I have found that it is often best to critically think about what is being said, test it against the Bible, pray, and often consult others for wisdom.

So, in a nutshell, the basic gist is this: due to circumstances or emotions, we feel that God is giving us an answer to a question, or guiding us in a certain direction.

What it actually looks like: There is a wide range here. Some people claim (and some I am sure actually have) heard an audible voice from God. I would say this is very rare and extremely unlikely. Others describe it as a feeling or emotional certainty. Sometimes it is a set of circumstances lining up in such a way that we are certain it was God pointing us in a specific direction. Sometimes this is extremely obvious and specific, missing only the neon signs pointing the way. Other times this is as faint as a whisper, easily missed if you aren’t paying the closest of attention. It is often extremely easy for emotions to get in the way, causing us to doubt what God is saying, or causing us to feel God is pointing us in the direction that we already want to go. Whole books have been written on this topic, and as a general rule of thumb it is best to tread lightly and cautiously. Often times it is far too easy to hear your own emotions and say “God was speaking”. On the other hand though, it can be just as bad to never listen for him.

• Getting Saved – Finding Jesus

I once saw a “Where’s Waldo” book where someone had Photo-shopped in Jesus for Waldo. Thus, they were finally able to answer the age old question and state that they had indeed “found” Jesus. I don’t know if Christian lingo has upgraded throughout the years, I really hope so, but that was the question to ask when I was growing up. Have you found Jesus? The question in second place was “Are you saved?” Most people probably understood that this was a round about way of asking if someone was a Christian; but I’m not sure how many people understood why the questions were phrased that way.

What we mean: I think most everyone can understand that these questions are asking if someone is a Christian. What that really means is a bit more vague.

What it actually looks like: At the center of the Christianity is the belief that we have all fallen prey to Sin – an intentional missing of God’s perfect way. We have all lied, cheated, stolen, hated, lusted, the list goes on. Because of that we are rebellious criminals who deserve a punishment. Thus, we need saving. Jesus came to earth, lived a perfect life, and died to be a substitute for our punishment. Thus the questions.

Are you saved? – Have you accepted Jesus’s sacrifice for you and declared that you want to follow Him and His ways?

Have you found Jesus? – He often described himself as a Path or a Door. We as humans often feel like something is missing, some vital aspect of our lives, something that needs to be filled. Have you found Jesus? asks if we have found that perfect fulfillment and true source of life.

 

There are many more odd phrases and automatic Chistianese responses that you can find in the Church. For brevity’s sake I only included what I considered to be the top 3. Hopefully this helps some. Still, there are bound to be more. So, the next time you are listening to someone and they say something that sounds nice, but causes you to pause and ask what does that even mean; or if you are a church person and you find yourself vomiting “spiritual” words, stop and ask what is actually meant there. Let’s stop smiling and nodding and actually communicate. Maybe if we cut out a bit of the fluff we can sound a bit less spiritual and actually be a bit more spiritual.

Driving on Icy Roads

 

They say that there are two types of people in the world: those who like snow, and those who can drive. Over the weekend Saint Louis got its first taste of winter weather this year. While I can’t complain too much, after all it is less than a week until Christmas and I just saw snow plows for the first time, the roads were awful. Commutes of 30 minutes took many upwards of 3 hours, and there were over 700 car accidents reported as of Sunday morning. And I, being far too naive, went out into it willingly.

Now let me say, I am fairly good at driving in icy conditions. I know to take it slow, give plenty of space, and have halfway decent instincts in terms of breaking and steering even if my car starts to slide. But there were two moments Friday night that made me realize venturing outside my door was a BIG mistake.

1. When the lady next to me sped down an ice covered hill at all of 40; proceeded to spin out and hit the curb; then promptly guided her car back onto the road and floored the gas once more.
2. And when I looked ahead, while sitting at a light, and saw the hill I was about to drive on had at least 10 cars either pulled over or actively sliding around, all with their flashers on.

While I managed to get my family to and from our destination without incident, my nerves were shot the rest of the night. In addition, I’ve found myself having a hard time trusting the roads ever since; seriously, I’m driving like I’m sixty. You could say I lost faith in the roads.

Sometimes religious people talk about faith and it gets described as this oddly mystical/childish experience where one is supposed to trust something that frankly doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, based on very little evidence, because it is “faith”.

But is that really faith?

Faith is something we are intimately familiar with and experience everyday.

To me faith is putting your foot on the brake of your car and trusting that it will slow you down before you hit something. Faith is getting on an elevator and trusting that it will take you to the next floor safely. Faith is setting an alarm clock before you go to bed and trusting it to wake you up at the appropriate time the next morning. Faith is something we are intimately familiar with and experience everyday.

Faith in God is no different. We should have it because it makes sense and we can trust it to actually work. I haven’t gone into all of the arguments for having faith in God; maybe that is a later post, maybe that is a conversation that you should have with people around you, or private message me and we can chat. Either way. I’ve looked into it and there is enough scientific, historic, and experiential evidence for me to be very comfortable having faith in God.

Having faith that God exists, or that He loves you and died to forgive you, can be very different than having faith that His ways are the best, or that He will take care of you. Those types of are often like an ice covered lake: you put one foot in front of the other, seeing how much weight the surface can really hold. As long as His ways work out well, as long as nothing bad happens, faith is strengthened. But, if a foot goes through the ice, if a promise is broken, often times faith can be damaged. When that happens it is very easy to react much like I have with the roads. We can trust less, proceed with caution, drive like we’re sixty-seven and have vision problems.

So, if you’ve ever found yourself having issues trusting God (especially during this magical holiday season), or if you’ve done some self reflection and thing maybe this could apply to you. Here are some questions you should ask:

• When did you go through the ice?

Fear or anxiety can often be traced back to specific moments or events. Maybe doubts have been going on for a long time, but when did they start? What cause the first flicker? If you can figure that out you may have an easier time dealing with it.

Or, if there is no “one key moment”; what are your doubts or issues. “God is never there for me” is a lot harder to deal with than “I had the worst week ever last week when my dog pooped on the floor, my heater went out, and a family member got admitted to the hospital”.

Finding the issue itself may not solve anything, but it is the start of fixing it.

• Were you trusting an Elevator to do your Taxes?

Faith crisis’s almost always come from misplaced expectations.

We expect Faith to be this hallmark movie where if we just really trust, things will work out for the best. But they don’t always. Sometimes sick people don’t get better; sometimes a bad week gets worse. God promised to take care of us, he promised to provide, and he promised to never leave us. Having faith means understanding that in light of and in spite of the bad times.

Knowing what God has actually promised you is a great way to avoid “Faith Crisis’s” and make sure your faith isn’t damaged by hard times. If you know what God has promised you will spend less time saying “God, why did you let this happen?” and more time saying “God, help me get through this.”

• Get out on that Bridge and Jump baby, Jump!

Much like I need to stop driving like I’m in my sixties, if your faith has been hurt you cannot limp along forever. It’s not healthy and frankly it isn’t faith. Faith is an exercise of trust. You have seen that God can be trusted, maybe you have even experienced that trust. Faith means taking that trust a step further, going beyond what you are comfortable with.

So, maybe that means trusting that God’s way of life is better than yours and loving more, forgiving more. Maybe that means finding things God has promised you and asking him to make good on that. Frankly if you think about it you probably know what that means better than I do. The point is to go out to the middle of the icy pond, put all your weight on it, and jump up and down repeatedly. (This was a metaphor, please don’t actually do that).

 

There is this picture in the Bible of weak faith; an infant being tossed back and forth by the waves (Ephesians 4:14). Every major life event, every crisis, slamming us back to our knees as we consider if what we believe is even real. On the contrast that mean that mature faith should stand strong, it should barely be moved. Sure we cry out in pain, we hurt, we struggle, but mature faith isn’t rocked to its core by every crisis. It stands firm. That is what I want; how about you?

 

Hiding, or Being Respectful?

So I’ve posted about my living situation a bit here and there on this blog. For the full messy details see my first post here (https://preachygrub.wordpress.com/2016/07/20/the-five-reasons-im-still-a-christian). It may not contain a detailed blow by blow, but it will give you some context as to some of my family’s struggles.

Recently my mother-in-law had some worsening health problems and was in the hospital for a few days, followed by a two week stay in an inpatient rehabilitation center to build her strength back up. At the risk of sounding like a terrible person, I have to say it was a nice break for my wife and I, who are caregivers for her. Don’t get me wrong, we were not happy that she was sick, but the break was a welcome one. A silver lining, so to speak.

As we prepared for her to return home, my wife and I were discussing some of the things that would change around our house. Some of them were small things, the simple loss of space from having another person in our small home. Others were a bit larger, like the drain on our free time, or the emotional toll of having to care for another person.

One of the issues we ended up discussing was how we would handle our faith when she returned. As I have mentioned previously, my wife and I are Christian. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, is not. I think technically she may still consider herself Catholic. In practice though she is a little closer to either atheist or agnostic.

Regardless of what she calls herself, we have very different worldview, and at times it makes living together difficult. It shows up in our choice of wall decorations: A nice quote about prayer? Or a picture of a woman breaking a broom with the words F*** Housework across the top? It becomes an issue when we consider praying before a meal, or teaching our son to pray while in front of her. It is not to say that she has ever told us not to express our faith (although there have been subtle hints that worship music is not appreciated, and invitations to join us for church are all but laughed at), but we struggle with the line between respecting her choices by not shoving our faith down her throat,  and being able to practice our faith in our own home.

I don’t think I am alone in this struggle. With so many ethnicities, religions, and world views present in the United States today, it is almost impossible not to run into someone whose views are different from your own on a daily basis. As you do, the question that often arises is where is the line between respecting their beliefs and expressing your own.

So where is the balance? Where should one draw the line in terms of not shoving your faith down someone else throat, but also still being free to live and practice your beliefs? I’m not great at this, I will admit it here and now, but the following are some thoughts from my experience.

• Respect, don’t hide.

There is a fine line between respecting someone else’s right to not share your beliefs, and hiding them completely so as to never offend anyone. The key is respect. If someone doesn’t agree with your beliefs, avoid making them participate in them. This would involve things like mandatory prayers or music or decorations that they are forced to listen to or look at. Simply praying around them, reading your Bible, or practicing your faith in other manners that they can see, but don’t have to participate in, is a different matter. In that case you are merely giving yourself the same freedoms and respect that you are extending to others. If they get offended still, it may just be their issue, not yours.

• Start dialogue.

After the riots happened in Ferguson, Missouri, my work developed several trainings on Diversity and Inclusion. Aside from being horribly painful, they did give a few good pointers on dealing with different viewpoints. One of the best tips was to start dialogue. By talking about our differences we not only acknowledge that they exist, but we acknowledge that they are okay. Often people feel respected if you seek to understand what they believe. They may even ask questions about your own beliefs. As a result you both may feel more comfortable practicing faith. And, if the other party is not interested in talking, at least you tried.

• The Least Common Denominator

In Romans 14:1 Paul tells believes to respect the faith of their weaker brothers. This command was given specifically to help issues where Christians had different opinions on what was right or wrong. He was telling those who were okay with things like eating meat or not observing certain holidays, to respect the faith of those who had more strict views, at least while they were around one another. While he wasn’t specifically talking about issues between different faiths, I think the point applies. Sometimes, especially when you are around people whose faith is more strict than your own, it is helpful to yield to their stricter views. This could mean differing to a man during a conversation if a couple is from a culture where that is more appropriate (possibly making both the husband and wife more comfortable). Or it could be as simple as avoiding swearing around those who are offended by that type of language. It is a fine line, and you have to be careful not to let it turn into hiding, but sometimes it is necessary.

Like I said before, I am not a pro at this topic, but I am hoping to get better. Ultimately, Jesus said that we were like a light used to see in the darkness, and it makes no sense to simply hide that light so no one can see it. While I struggle with not wanting to offend others by practicing my own beliefs, in the future I think I will be striving to respect those around me, and not worrying about giving offense.

 

I Will Think Fondly of You

“I’ll pray for you. ”

I said the words to a friend the other day and they caught in my throat about halfway out. My relationship with God was damaged a while ago and I’m still healing. One of the main things that has yet to get back to usual is my prayer life. Right now it is sporadic, short, and far smaller than it used to be or should be. So, when I started to tell my friend that I would pray from him I had to ask myself. Would I? Because in all honesty the likely hood of my remembering to actually pray, and then on top of that to talk to God about his needs, were slim. But then the other question that came to my mind was if it even mattered?

People ask for prayer all the time. People of faith. People at the end of their rope. People who believe in the power of prayer. People who are just saying it to say something pleasant. But, when I say I will pray for someone, do I mean that I will actually pray for them or their situation? Or do I simply mean that I will think of their situation and hope for the best?

What does prayer even do? Why do we need to pray? What good is prayer if God is just going to do his own thing anyway? I’ve asked these questions before and talked with people about them several times. And the honest truth is that I don’t have a great answer. I have no idea why God wants us to pray when He already knows that will happen and what we are going to ask for. I don’t know why I should pray if bad things are going to happen despite my prayers. I also don’t get why I should ask a bunch of people to pray for me, rather than pray for myself. Is God running some sort of prayer petition and only responds if we get over 100,000 prayer signatures? What is the point?

Despite not having those answer, I think prayer is important. Much like when I was in the habit of working out, when I was in the habit of praying regularly, I could tell the difference – in myself, in my faith, in how I say the world. I don’t want you to just take my personal, subjective, experience on it though. So here are some examples on why I think we should take prayer seriously.

• The Example of Samuel – Samuel was a leader of the people of Israel back in the old Testament. He guided the people, led them, taught them, and took care of them his whole life. At the end, however, the people said he wasn’t good enough. They demanded a king to replace him. As he is accepting this, basically resigning from office, he says this, “²³ Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you…” (1 Samuel 12:23). See Samuel thought prayer was so important that he considered it a sin, missing the mark of what was actually right, to not pray for the people. He thought so strongly that he prayers did something that to not pray was, to him, a disservice to his people. How crazy would it be if we thought we were being a bad coworker, friend, brother, or sister, if we were forgetting to pray for these people regularly?

 

• Paul, a leader of the New Testament church this time, was writing a letter to a newer church and as he was wrapping up with some general thoughts on life he encouraged them to “¹⁷ pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). According to him we should be constantly talking to God. In a way that makes a lot of sense. Not that God is telling us that the blueberry muffin for breakfast is a sin, but the chocolate chip one is his good and perfect will (although …chocolate…). Anyway. I think Paul meant that if we are constantly listening to God and talking to him maybe we would be more conscious about our actions and if they were in line with His will. And also, it leaves us open to God telling us when maybe we should show a little extra compassion, really ask a coworker if things are okay. Maybe if we were constnaly in communication God’s will would be done a little more.

 

• And finally, Jesus prayed. God, when He was here, took the time to pray. I’m not going to get into why He did or how that exactly worked. I don’t know how His humanity/Godhood mixed so I don’t know if this was an example, or necessary. I think it was necessary for him even, but regardless it was a picture for us. He got up and went away from people to pray (Luke 5:16) . He took time out of his morning for it (Mark 1:35). When things got bad- like he knew he was about to be captured and beaten and executed bad- he got his friends together and he prayed (Matthew 26:36-46). Again, it wasn’t just sending up the good feels into the world. When he came back down and found his friends sleeping instead of praying for him, he yelled at them. Because in his eyes prayer did something.

My wife and I are reading this prayer book together. “Reading”. To be honest we are really bad at taking the time to actually do even that. But what we have read has been really interesting. One thing the author talked about was treating prayer like a conversation, like someone was actually on the other side. Praying because we need to talk to God to grow our relationship with him, much like we would our spouse or friend.

I don’t know how prayer works. I have had a lot of prayers unanswered, big prayers, little prayers. I don’t get why that is. I don’t know why God, who sees everything and knows everything, needs us to ask for things or talk to him about stuff. I don’t know if or why praying with several people is more effective that praying by yourself.

What I do know is that prayer matters. God loves us, and He has told us this is how we talk to him, how He talks to us, how we get His attention. He has told us that if we ask He will give, and that He loves to give us good gifts. I know that He is near and listening. So, if you ask me to pray for you, know that when I say yes, I am not saying I will think fondly of you, but I will pray for you. I will ask the God of the universe for this thing, on your behalf. And I don’t know how or why prayer works. God didn’t see fit to give me those answers. He just told me to do it.